This review was originally written in February 2013 at ThEpic Review.
I finally had a chance to catch "Hansel & Gretel: Witch
Hunters" this weekend. After hearing some not so good things about this
action/horror/fantasy/comedy, I was very pleasantly surprised by how
much I enjoyed the movie. It was a fun, fast paced genre film that
seems quite underrated. More after the break....
The past few years have given us a quite a few re-imaginings of
classic fairy tales. While the gold standard among these is
Fables, a long running comic book series (with quite a few spinoffs) by Bill Willingham, other examples include the
Grimm's Fairy Tales comic
series by Zenoscope Entertainment, the video games "American McGee's
Alice" and "Alice: Madness Returns", the TV series "Once Upon a Time" on
ABC,
and recent films such as "Snow White and the Huntsman", "Red Riding Hood",
and "The Brothers Grimm
". It
seems like both creators and fans enjoy seeing childhood stories come
to life in darker, more sinister ways. "Hansel & Gretel: Witch
Hunters" takes the original German fairy tale and explores what happened
to the titular siblings afterwards, adding in plenty of blood and
action along the way.
 |
| And diabetes. You can't eat a house made of candy without factoring in diabetes. |
The film begins like the classic story: Hansel and Gretel are young
siblings lead out into the woods by their father and abandoned. They
eventually discover a house made of candy and enter it, only to find a
nasty old witch. She locks Hansel up in a cage and forces him to eat
candy while using Gretel as a slave. Eventually the siblings manage to
kill the witch by placing her in the oven in which she herself was going
to cook Hansel. We all know that part of the story and have probably
heard it hundreds of times as children.
Hansel Gretel: Witch Hunters continues
on, however, and tells us what happened to Hansel and Gretel when they
left the witch's house. Wandering the German countryside and now
inexplicably immune to the spells of witches, Hansel and Gretel (played
by Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton) decide to take up the business of
witch hunting for profit. Their story and reputation have become
legendary, leading to their hiring by the mayor of Augsburg in order
to deal with the city's witch problem. There have been an alarming
number of children who have gone missing and witches are suspected.
Sounds simple, right?
Of course not. It turns out that rather than just killing a few
average witches, the siblings have to deal with a town who wants to
burn an innocent girl they believe to be a witch (Mina, played by Pihla
Viitala), an uncooperative local Sheriff (played by Peter Stormare),
trolls, an adoring fanboy with a thing for Gretel, Hansel's diabetes,
exploding people, secrets from their past, and Muriel (Famke Jansen), an
extremely powerful witch with plans to make herself and all witches
forever immune to fire. (Fire is basically witch Kryptonite.) Famke
Jansen doesn't get much screen time to fully let her character's
motivations develop, but she does get the opportunity to display both
her charm and her malice. The film contains a few twists that pop up
later in the film, although you might guess most of them before the
characters do.
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| X-Men 4: Zombie Jean Grey |
Both Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton have been establishing
themselves as capable action stars. While Renner's action movie skills
are pretty solid (especially when using a bow), he does seem to be
having fun playing a straight character amidst all of the movie's absurd
happenings. Arterton first caught my eye as Agent Fields in
Quantum of Solace and
proves here to be not only lovely, but also fully capable of handling
herself in tough situations. I don't want to spoil anything for you,
but Gretel pretty much bites off a guy's nose at one point. Yup. She's
amazing. Anyways, both Renner and Arterton play their parts very
seriously while doing ridiculously awesome things, which I think gives
the movie part of its charm (although I imagine it bothers some
people). Every time they're getting ready to kill something, I was just
waiting to see what cool witch-killing gadget they'd pull out next.
The design of the weapons is awesome and very steampunkish, especially a
crossbow that shoots in three directions.
 |
| " Hey Hansel, where's Gretel?" Oh, there she is. |
Directed by Norwegian filmmaker Tommy Wirkola (
Dead Snow), Hansel and Gretel is
a rapidly paced film that's sole purpose is to entertain. The movie
was beautifully shot (mostly shot on location in Germany outside of
traditional studios) and really captures the haunted, old world vibe
that works so well in a fairy tale film. While I did not see the movie
in 3-D (as I usually don't like 3-D films) I was still fully satisfied.
The film takes such joy in promoting its locales, fight scenes, and
cool gadgets that it often feels like a comic book or video game.
That's not a knock against the film; it simply knows that its here to
entertain us with its creepy, fun atmosphere. While the movie has some
slightly creepy moments and lots of bloody action, it also has a very
self aware, almost tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. I still find myself
chuckling over a sight gag where we see the drawings of missing children
attached to bottles of milk. Goofy little anachronisms like this just
help to spell out that despite the serious appearance of things, this
film just wants to have fun.
 |
| Witch fact of the day #4: Witches hate shovels. |
Watching the movie, I was reminded of three movies I really enjoyed
(and one movie I didn't). First, the setting just overall reminded me
of "The Brothers Grimm
", which makes sense. Secondly, The way
that the main characters are portrayed as slightly overconfident rogues
who show up in town to kill monsters certainly had me constantly
thinking of both "Army of Darkness" and "John Carpenter's Vampires
", two
of my favorite films. The witches move supernaturally fast and agilely
like in "Army of Darkness" and the witches' plot reminded me somewhat
of the vampire's plot in "John Carpenter's Vampires". Maybe I'm just a
sucker for movies about folks hunting down supernatural creatures? For
horror fans willing to give something different a try, Hansel and
Gretel: Witch Hunters
has plenty to offer. There are some
excellent gore effects, along with the traditionally creepy settings. I
also feel compelled to mention the fantastic character and costume
designs for the film's witches. A scene near the end of the film offers
a veritable coven of unique and creepy witches that are all very unique
and creative.
 |
| Hansel is not a fan of "Twitches" |
Overall, I'm giving
Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 4 out of 5
stars. Sometimes you just see a movie that hits all the right chords
and you feel like it was made specifically for you. That's kind of how I
felt watching this movie. I had a blast it and certainly plan to snag
it on Blu-ray. That's perhaps one of the best compliments I can give to
a movie, as it means that I can see myself sitting down and wanting to
watch this movie again from time to time. This movie isn't going to
change your life, but if you go in wanting to watch an action/horror
film with a slightly dark sense of humor, you should be satisfied.
 |
| Gemma Arterton wielding an automatic crossbow and hunting witches? Automatic 4 stars!!! |
She'd instantly go deaf if he fired those guns.
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